Do all the things

I have two small children, a full time job, a side gig writing books and teaching at a university, I run, my husband and I go on dates, we love cross-country family road trips, I have 20 best friends that I connect with regularly, and I never miss a party. People say things like “I don’t know how you do it”. Behind my back they probably say things like “she’s trying too hard” or “what is she trying to prove” or “she’s going to wear herself out trying to do all the things”. I get it. My life is pretty full and would exhaust most people. 

The recent label likely put on this would be FOMO - fear of missing out. Which, is probably sometimes true. But more than that, this is simply the life I choose. I’m not “trying too hard” I’m just simply trying to make all the things I want work for me. And they do. Our life is full and happy and exactly what I want it to be. 

When I was in grad school, a fellow student looked at my professional vitae and said, “how can I compete with that?” but the truth is, no one should be competing with me. Except me. We should each be living the exact life that we want and makes sense for us. 

Social media has amplified this notion of “fear of missing out”. When we see someone running a marathon, we think “why don’t I make time to run?” Or when someone takes a trip to another country, it’s easy to think “why aren’t we taking big trips like this?” It’s completely appropriate to periodically assess your values and priorities. Are your daily actions matching up with your priorities? If not, it would be a good  time to make an adjustment. But we need to let go of the habit of assessing our daily actions based on someone else’s values, priorities, and energy. We should be able to celebrate the lives of others without feeling like that’s what ours should look like. 

So, do all the things - but keep it limited to doing all the things that make you happy. And don’t worry that someone else’s life is too much or not enough for you. It might be just what they need.