Exercise your privilege

I am white.

I am heterosexual.

My pronouns are she, her, hers.

I was well into my twenties before anyone had used the word ”privileged” to describe me. And embarrassingly, well into my thirties before I understood what that meant. I initially thought, “what privilege? I’m just moving along here, living my life.” Of course I thought that. Privilege at its finest. Two key things happened to open up my thinking and actions. 

First, I began to understand that privilege doesn’t mean my life hasn’t been hard, it means that my race, gender, and sexual orientation aren’t things making my life hard. You’ve probably heard this before. People of all races, genders and sexual orientations experience trauma, poverty, failure, etc. My privilege actually eased my path through those common challenges rather than creating or amplifying them.

Second, I started to listen to people that have been marginalized, implicitly and explicitly. I began to understand their experiences were vastly different than my own. 

The more time I spent in this, the more I realized that it is not enough for me to simply understand and own my privilege, I have a social obligation to use my privilege to fight systems of oppression that perpetuate the white, cisgender, heteronormative culture we live in. Committing to that was easy. Understanding how to do it was not. 

Here’s an example of one step I took. A colleague of mine always introduces herself with her pronouns: she, her, hers. At first it just seemed interesting. And then I asked her why she did it. And she explained that when she does so it makes it more comfortable for people to express theirs. And that if she doesn’t do it, she’s perpetuating the binary norms that usually come down to assumptions based on looks. Even if every person in the room was cis, starting with her pronouns is a gentle reminder that not everyone is cis. So I started to do this. But then I got lazy and forgot. Because I have the privilege to! And that made me realize how important it is that I do it every single time. Non-binary people don’t get to be lazy about fighting for space, it’s not fair for me to get lazy about making it. 

What are you doing to push back against white, cisgender, heteronormative culture to make space?