8 years
It went by fast, huh?
When we got married, I wondered what this would be like. The fun stuff seemed easy. But what about the other stuff? How do vows translate into overcoming difficulty, surviving the unthinkable and still coming up for air with something that looks like a marriage?
We don't get to know how things turn out or what challenges will come our way. In the last year my husband and I have suffered the devastating loss of three close family members and a miscarriage. We spent months with broken hearts, picking each other up when one of us had strength and the other needed to borrow it. It wasn't all pretty or perfect. It was messy. And difficult. I remember moments looking at my husband through my tears and thinking, "do you still love me now?" And again later, "how about now?" Not questions to be satisfied with words but with actions. And he showed up every single time.
Here's what vows look like in the dark moments:
"I love you more than this hard moment"
"I love you enough to get to the other side together"
"I love you enough to remember all the good when your heart is so broken you can't"
"I love you enough to hold the hard things for you"
"I love you enough to be strong for you"
"I love you enough to let you cry and not feel ashamed about it"
I didn't need this year of heartache. I didn't need the constant reminder of how fragile life is. But I'm grateful for the chance to know, without question, that I've chosen someone who shows up for the easy stuff and shows up even bigger for the hard stuff.
I'm not wondering about the next 20 years, or the next 8, or the next year. I have this moment and this person, and I'm so grateful.
