Thank you for correcting me

What is it about our human nature that wants us to be right? Ego? Arrogance? Confirmation bias? What is at stake for us when someone is giving us feedback? Are our relationships so flimsy? Our identities so fragile that we can't accept a nudge back on the right path? And at what point in our lives are any of us so absolutely right that it would warrant us to be caught off guard by someone having more accurate information than we have?

When it comes to being corrected, while I often can take feedback well when I'm anticipating it, I struggle more when I'm not seeking it out. In which case, I have three basic responses (all of which seem to be unnecessarily protecting my fragile sense of self):

I'm right, you're wrong. I'm an expert. I'm almost always right so it would make sense that I'm right this time too. Wow, if that isn't some murky logic! It makes sense that we would talk about things we know well. I'm certainly not going to speak on a topic that I know nothing about (fantasy football, soccer, hunting, heating and cooling systems... the list goes on). So when I do speak, it's usually because I'm confident that I know what I'm talking about. But that confidence is exaggerated to think that there might not be a moment my expertise could be corrected.

Your rightness doesn't interest me. Whatever detail you're pointing out is insignificant, or I'm going to at least pretend it is to continue protecting my unstable ego. This is probably the most common response and possibly the most unfair. I could be taking the wrong route to a friend's house and if my partner corrects me I brush him off  as though I can't be bothered with the safest, fastest, most efficient route. I'm much more concerned with staying on the path of "I'm always right". There are times it's a wonder that anyone can even fit in the car with this level of ego-centrism sucking up all the oxygen.

I get defensive. And sometimes I place the blame on other people.  This was all the information I had to work with so not my fault that I didn't know better. True or not, I can tell you from experience, this is not a relationship building approach. Of course it's uncomfortable when someone else's actions or complacency impacts the impression people have of us. But that doesn't require combativeness to sort through.

Don't I sound like a delightful person to be around?!

So, I'm working on this. Attempting to approach everything with the possibility that there may be a nugget of information, another perspective, someone else's truth that could complete my interpretation of a situation. It moves me to pause and instead of resorting to one of my three responses, instead I think, "How can I hold this information with mine?" And I breathe. That's it. Because more often than not, people are trying to be helpful. And what someone is giving to me isn't discrediting what I know, it's merely adding to it and I'm genuinely grateful. And then I can, with authenticity, say to the person in front of me, "thank you for correcting me".