This past fall, my family experienced devastating loss of people we loved. First, the unexpected death of my husband's 30-yr-old sister. If it were even possible to get over this kind of loss, we certainly weren't when my maternal grandma went into the hospital, followed by my paternal grandma a few hours later. They both died later that week - an incredibly difficult and emotional week for all of us. Even as I type this several months later, it's hard to believe they're all gone. It's almost as if I haven't processed the individual loss of each because it happened all at once.
I have the incredible blessing of a large and kind support system. I was so moved by the outpouring of love from the people around me. Despite that, my heart was broken, I cried a lot, and sometimes I struggled to keep my shit together. My tribe loved me anyway.
In a moment where grief and gratitude tangled, I wrote this down for my people:
So this is it, right? This is life. We get older, people we love leave us. It hurts because it mattered. It hurts because we loved.
This week has been sad and painful and hard. But, I heard your kind words. I'm comforted by your thoughts and prayers. I'm encouraged by your strength and generosity to take care of the things I can't right now.
As much as my heart is breaking in this moment, I can feel how it is been held together by your kindness and love.
I've not been waiting for this day or this week to pass and become a distant memory. Because this is life right here. All of it right at once. The really hard stuff but also the really good stuff. Thanks for showing up for both. #tribe
Often as time passes, the rawness of emotions begins to fade. I periodically reread this message I wrote and remember how much I needed the people that held me up during that time - and how they didn't hesitate to show up.
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