It's not cute

I'm going to make the assumption that most of us, from time to time, consider the impact technology and screens have had on our lives. The impact on our health, on our relationships, how we use our time, and so on. It is tremendously convenient and has increased our access to knowledge, our ability to do things quickly and multitask and for many, it has had a general positive impact. As a parent, if you haven't personally considered the impact on your children, the necessity of consideration has probably been thrust at you either via social media, from your pediatrician, or from school. Children need to have some basic understanding of how to use technology but you've probably also gotten some pressure about how much screen time they have the nature of the content.
This post isn't about so much about children's limits on screen time or the content they are exposed to but more about an altered perspective of children because of technology. I'm going to warn you, it's not cute.

It's not cute. When you use filters on your children (or yourself for that matter, but let's stick to the topic at hand). When you use a filter to take pictures of your children, you are altering their reality, they way they look, the way they see themselves. It is often meant to be playful but it is creating the perception that we aren't [cute, polished, sparkly, funny, pretty, perfect] enough as we are - and we should hide behind a mask. I recently saw a friend's post of her children cooking - and she put a bunny filter on it. Why? It completely distracts from who your child is and what they are doing. The bunny ears became more noticeable [more important] than the child.

It's not cute. When you shame your child on social media. Those little children you have now are going to grow up and be adults - who deserve to have some say in how much of their life is public, to have some privacy in their formative years, and to be allowed a separate identity from your filter of shame. There are many things that happen in childhood that are meant to stay in the privacy of the relationship between the child and the caregiver - as it is our responsibility to help them grow, protect them, and not embarrass them. (Everyone pooped in the bathtub as a baby. Yup, you too. But aren't you glad you aren't tagged in that picture for the world to see?) If you want to post something about your child, ask. If they are too young to understand the question, just send the pic in a text to your mom, she'll love it - probably because you did the same hilarious thing as a kid. This goes for naughty, embarrassing, outstanding, or brave behaviors - essentially all behaviors. Remember, if children can't trust what you'll do with information, they'll stop bringing it to you.

It's not cute. When you post pictures of your child watching TV. It is certainly very challenging to capture a sweet picture of your child as they are always in motion and you're likely in motion trying to keep up with them. And if you have two children? Trying to get them in a picture together, cute, and not in a blur of motion is nearly impossible. So of course, when you finally exhale and they sit still for a moment, it's tempting to capture that sweet moment of youth that is so fleeting. But pause for a second. When you truly think about your child, is it the moment that they are spaced out to a glowing box when you really love them the most? Does it capture who they are? Does it share their magic with the world? Or are you merely documenting the easy mesmorization that comes when a TV is turned on? What are you conveying to the world when all we see is the vacancy in your child's eyes when they are lulled into the passive act of watching TV? Post the blur - that's where the magic of childhood is.

Technology, screens, and social media have allowed use to do some pretty amazing things. Be mindful that it doesn't alter, distract from, or hide what is already pretty amazing.