A man's job

Yesterday, my husband and I were discussing our Governor's decision and execution of orders put in place to protect people in the time of the COVID-19 outbreak. We are the kind of people that, for the most part, trust scientists, medical experts, and leaders to make these kinds of large-scale decisions based on information we don't have, that may impact a lot of people in ways we don't understand. It's not without scrutiny but we recognize the complexity that far reaches our limited experiences.

We further discussed the frequency of people in our state (as well as the current president of our country) to belittle our Governor on social media. Everything from her decision, to how it was communicated, to how she dresses. Someone even shared a photo from January 2019 and shamed her for being within 6ft of other people - a full year before social distancing was a thing. The disdain for her is evident and very rarely focuses on the big picture impact of the state. The criticism is specific, targeted, aggressive, and lacks perspective.

My husband pointed out this very insightful fact: men don't want to be told what to do by a woman. That's what it is. Misogyny in the 21st century. Men aren't mad about her doing her job. They are mad that she has the job. But is that archaic tension held just by men? Do women feel this way too? It's 2020 but are we simply unable to accept that women can do the same work as men?

Aside from our limited ability to skillfully pee standing up, I've never experienced a man demonstrate a skill or competency that woman couldn't also perform. Certainly, individual ability and performance varies but this has never been calculated down to specific amounts of estrogen or testosterone. There is certainly no shame in a woman not choosing a leadership role, just as there is not shame in a man respecting a woman in leadership.

Consider your thoughts. Have the gender-stereotyped, biblical roles of the past been ingrained in the way you think, live, and vote?

Deeply ingrained misogyny aside:

What is it about a woman that would make her less capable of leading a state or a country?
What is it about a man, would make him more capable of holding leadership positions?
What qualifications do women lack that prevent them from holding a man's job?

Problem areas

I have stretch marks, periodic acne, jiggly upper arms, and a little belly lingering from my pregnancies. Social media and the fashion industries would tell you these are my “problem areas”. My social media feeds are filled with ads for anti-aging creams, gym memberships, shapewear, electrolysis, fake eyelashes, fad diets... the list goes on. Collective society and steadfast marketing firms target women with “solutions” to their “problem areas”. Just this cream or that undergarment will make any woman a little more perfect and a little more palatable to society. More desirable for marriage, for jobs, for opportunities, for the collective fawning over progress toward the unattainable image of the perfect woman. 

These are not our problem areas.

We have bigger problem areas that need to be addressed and talked about. 

Women’s bodies as objects. 

A rising teen suicide rate. 

Women being underpaid in the workforce. 

The under-acknowledged miracle of what a woman’s body does to bring life into the world.

Food insecurity. 

Blatant and systemic racism. 

Inadequate and inequitable access to health care. 

Our carbon footprint. 

International conflict and war. 

Climate change. 

Greed. 

Political divide. 

Poverty. 

Rising number of prescriptions for children to cope with anxiety and depression. 

These (and so much more) are our real problem areas. Women should not be the target of what’s not perfect in our world. Women deserve to believe they are good enough as they are. Bodies are strong and wonderfully different. If we put the same energy into solving our real problem areas as we do making women believe they aren’t good enough, the world would be a better place. 

And women could go about their business without believing their imperfect existence needs fixing.