Babies we hold in our hearts

This week was my second child’s first half birthday, I felt all kinds of things. I cried in my car. And I didn’t know how to put what I was feeling into words. But it’s 4am and I’m rocking him and I know what I want to say. 

When I look at my son, of course I see him but I see more than his chubby cheeks and sweet smile. I see the baby I never got to hold. I see the baby YOU never got to hold. I see the baby you got to hold that didn’t make it to a year or even to 6 months. 

I’d relive every one of these days in the past 6 months, even the hard days, maybe even especially the hard days. Because I know what it’s like to not have these days, to feel robbed of these days. 

So if you read this and it tugs at your heart, I see you. I’ll rock a few minutes longer in this moment.  For me. For you. For those babies we hold in our hearts.